Step One

So, the first, most obvious solution was to drop something from our schedule.

I was driving back and forth from the local public school four times a day, three days per week.

We had homeschool co-op for three hours one morning per week.

We had three separate therapy appointments for one hour each week.

The therapy involved is: occupational therapy to address Batman's heinous printing and below average core strength, speech therapy for social communication skills and psychotherapy for emotional regulation and anxiety.

We had regular showings for our condo.

I had my running group.

I know what they say about self-care, but I axed the running group right off.

The therapy had to stay. Co-op was actually one of the few times during the week I get a break, and the condo was only going to stay on the market through the end of October. So, we decided to drop the public school classes.

That seemed like a straightforward decision. It cleared up our schedule; I started a much-needed decompression process wherein I regained my personality and reined in my overwrought adrenal glands.

But it wasn't, not really.

Ambivalence

I recently drastically altered my schedule. I had created the perfect plan for my family--mainly for Batman, now that I think of it. Every moment of every day was filled with something, and all of it was going to be educational. And the schedule worked very well. For Batman. For Robin, it worked okay. I mean, he used to life revolving around his brother. It probably never occurred to him to question the constant driving. For me, it didn't work at all.

I was the weakest link. I was making two round trips to our local elementary school each day, homeschooling, making three separate trips to therapists and participating in homeschool co-op. I was also trying to get up at 5:00 am two mornings a week to go running and regularly prepping our for-sale condo for showings. I was driving myself crazy. I was perpetually wired and distracted, on an adrenaline rush from the constant activity.

Then I crashed.

It was a little ugly. I realized I was taking everyone's needs into consideration but mine.

What's more, I realized that Batman's needs have taken priority ever since his diagnosis, which was four years ago. I know, I know this is understandable. But the playing field needs to be levelled out a bit. So, what to do?